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Family surnames are often confusing to foreigners, as the Spanish often have two surnames (possibly linked by ‘and’, e.g.

No, perhaps “disgusted” is a more apt description of the look on the face of the billboard-ad-attractive, Spanish man I will name Señor Guapo (Mr. I had just arrived in Málaga, Spain, two years after my first visit to the country, and when it came to meeting men, I did not intend to waste any time.

Those Spaniards are looking good, and you want a piece of the action!

I shot my Spanish girlfriends a look that said, “Watch this,” and before they had a chance to stop me, I marched right up to Señor Guapo and his buddies. The fluid chatter of his friends was swallowed by an uncomfortable silence, and Señor Guapo responded with little more than a nod. I was raised by two human rights advocates in a household of five women (and one very patient, gray-haired father).

Faking interest in a nearby jukebox, I remained glued to the floor, my pride scattered in pieces around my feet. The idea that approaching a man should be equated to sexual promiscuity makes my gag reflex quiver.

The ‘kiss’ is deposited high up on the cheek, never on the mouth (except between lovers), and isn’t usually really a kiss, but a delicate brushing of the cheeks. You should introduce yourself before asking to speak to someone on the telephone.

Although the traditional siesta is facing a battle for survival, it isn’t advisable to telephone between the siesta hours (e.g. If you call between these times, it’s polite to apologise for disturbing the household.

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